Surviving Learning Disabilities Successfully

It is a new year and with it come new challenges....or in some cases more of the same.  In talking with parents we often hear that in the first four months of the school year they have encountered many issues relating to their child's progress.  The IEP may not be being followed or their child is falling behind for more subtle (but just as significant) reasons. We also hear that work habits at home may not be supporting the best outcome for homework or a positive attitude towards school. Frustration and fatigue are real problems for families.

The new year is an opportunity to make plans for change.First let's discuss how the school resources are working. If your child is struggling or not performing at a level you feel comfortable with you should trust your assessment.  Make a very specific list of the concerns you have. For example, list the classes of concern and the specific areas of weakness.  If you know specific strategies that are needed to improve the educational environment then add those as well.  These might include items like: are assignments being sent home on time, are study guides being provided, is the in-class resource present? There can be simple fixes which will make a big difference.  Try to find those. After you make a list talk with your child about his/her feelings about the first part of the year.  This will let your child understand that January offers a fresh start of the year.  This can be a huge weight off a child when they see that they can begin again.  Some children need to feel they are starting new rather than struggling to recover from a rough start. Share you list with your child and offer him/her the opportunity to add to or modify the list.

Once you have completed your list schedule time with the appropriate people at school. Include everyone who works with your child or who is involved in a supervisory capacity at the school. At the meeting review the positive highlights of the first part of the year.  Share examples of what worked.  Then provide copies of your list of concerns. During the discussion being back the examples of what has worked and look for ways that similar strategies can be expanded to other classrooms. Then ask for a timeline for follow-up.

If you are asking for compliance with an existing IEP then this type of meeting will work well. If you are requesting more or different resources then there may well be a need for an official meeting to consider changes to the IEP. In either event, bringing your specific concerns in a positive approach will offer a new start for everyone.

Now let's talk about home.  If you are finding frustrations with homework or attitude towards school then you are not alone.  When school starts in September most parents steel themselves for the multitude of big and small obstacles they will face.  By holiday break parents are as fatigued as the children. We suggest you consider the same approach as you used for the school meeting.  Take a look at what is working at home and what isn't.  List the items and think about what could improve the outcome.  For example, if you have agreed upon a homework time after school but find your child doesn't want to break away from his/her down time (computer, video, tv, friends, etc.) then you should involve your child in a new agreement.  In some cases it is as simple as doing homework before the favored activity. Or breaking homework into two parts, some before and some after may work.  Trying to do homework right after school is difficult but doing so after an hour break may be workable. Again, the key is involving your child in the decision and then making a binding agreement.

If your child isn't feeling good about school that can stem from many places. It is important to have ongoing conversations with your child about school.  Try to elicit a positive story within each conversation.  Even if there is only one small positive story in the midst of a dozen negatives try to unearth it.  Your child needs to be able to remember a good experience and relive it.  Sometimes positive experiences are lost in our days.  If your child recounts a positive experience ask about why and how it happened and look for his/her contribution to the experience. Acknowledge his/her part and consider letting the teacher know that you are aware of their positive impact.  The more we nurture positive experiences the more they grow. It is often difficult to focus on the positives when the negatives grab our attention, but making it a daily search will benefit the family.

We wish you a very happy and healthy 2010.  Take time to listen to your child and the people who touch his/her life.  Take time for yourself to refuel and be ready for tomorrow. Continued success!

Nancy and Danielle